My podcast that isn’t a podcast
In this video I speak about:
How forgiveness is about you, not about the other person/people who hurt you.
It’s very hard to forgive when you haven’t grieved what happened to you.
Neck up forgiveness is cheap. True forgiveness comes from the heart.
Forgiveness is a practice and a skill. You can learn how to forgive.
Grieving creates space inside your heart for forgiveness to land.
Through not forgiving someone, we remain shackled to them.
The difference between the Phase 1 (ego) and Phase 2 (spirit) approaches to forgiveness.
The healing power of an apology. Going yourself the apology you deserve, from the spirit of the person who hurt you.
In Phase 2, we explore who and what WE need to apologise for, and then gift that to them where we can.
“A heartfelt apology real or imagined is medicine for the Soul.”
V (previously known as Eve Ensler)
A few resources you might wish to check out:
The Apology - Eve Ensler
The book of forgiving - Desmond & Mpho Tutu
The Bridge - by your favourite Elder ;-)
Forgive for good - Dr Fred Luskin
Below is a brief outline of my own forgiveness process for my addicted unavailable parents.
Forgiveness - a personal journey:
1. Its unforgivable - there are no excuses for what you did
2. I can’t forgive - it’s impossible, the hurt runs too deep
3. I won’t forgive - I refuse to let you off the hook
4. I need to forgive - I recognise forgiveness would be good for me and that it’s not about you
5. I want to forgive - I no longer wish to carry all this hurt and blame, it’s exhausting
6. I forgive you - I free myself and also understand that forgiving is not forgetting
7. There’s nothing to forgive - I can honour your pain alongside my own, whilst seeing the deeper meaning of your role in my life
8. Gratitude - I am healed and can move beyond the past to recognise the gifts I have received from the whole experience.
The day I finally knew that my healing work had paid off and I had officially become an emotional grown up, was when I could see my mother and father as a woman and a man first and foremost. That I could appreciate that they had a life, love and longings way before they became my parents. When I could recognise that they were each once an innocent little child (just like me) with hopes and dreams (just like me).
When I was able to consider their pain and suffering without comparing it to my own. That they had made many mistakes because they were human (just like me) And when I finally realised what they had sacrificed for me and the many gifts that they had passed on to me, I found freedom. There was nothing left to forgive.
SOUL-FULL SUNDAY - 3rd August, 10am-1pm in East Sussex
For a long time I had been searching for a place to come together with other like hearted Souls to explore spirituality and awakening. A safe welcoming space to pray, sing and connect, with meaningful conversations and laughter in abundance. A bit like a church, but for the non religious or spiritually curious. I couldn’t find such a space so I created my own and Soul-Full Sunday was born.
We meet again on 3rd August from 10am-1pm in East Sussex, and all are welcome. Optional donations are requested to simply cover the cost of the venue and some biccies, however you will be welcome to join us regardless. After the service we offer a shared community lunch, where we all bring a little something to eat and ‘break bread’ together. It’s a beautiful thing.
So if your Soul like mine, has been longing for something like this, come join us. You’d be so welcome. Oh and wear your ‘Sunday best’, which just means wear whatever makes you feel good. Last few seats remaining so email to reserve your spot: hello@donnalancaster.com
Hope to see you there. 🤩😍🌻🕯
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