I loved this informal set up - it felt like sitting with you which is always grounding and opens things up. Visualising parents as wounded child, adult, then parent in that order feels empowering and truthful. For me the trick is to do it without getting caught in the parentified child place where I was always mesmerised by my mum’s wounded child and trying to save her: but I can feel how different the perspective you’re talking about is, when you can hold all three in front of you in the right order (and then turn to your own life, this time with the support of coming from somewhere truthful). Thank you, Donna. Have a great Christmas ☺️ Dada xxx
Cressida this is exactly where I’m at with my Mum. She, probably unconsciously, is always waiting & wanting me to rescue her, make things better & be on her side & it’s exhausting. I have decided I’ll just step back from that behaviour though it’s so ingrained in me, I find it very hard. I guess it’s like any change it feels hard initially & then becomes more natural & hopefully will bring a positive change from her too.
My parents died 14 & 12 years ago and sadly I don’t feel I ever got to know them properly.
I don’t know if it was a generational thing (born mid 1940’s) but they never talked about their feelings or emotions. (Did show me through anger, frustration and humour though, confusingly…..)
It makes me sad now that I won’t get that chance… maybe on the other side…
I do need to and will apply this strategy with other family members and in-laws too. This has been such a precious and very timely reminder (it’s my father in law’s wake on Monday.)
We are all wounded souls in varying degrees and I intend to give grace, and more freely, as I have been able to give to myself, which I believe is probably the only starting place on this healing path.
Thanks Sally, so glad it was helpful. I found I got to know my mum on a deeper level when she died in many ways. Im learning about her very day...in how I live xx
Definitely way to go with this set up. I was multitasking to start with but had to drop everything to listen to this. It fully immersed me. All tipcs were so useful and the final one about seeing our parents as a wounded child -first, a woman and a man- second and as a parent -third, was something I never even imagined to explore. Thank you Donna! Can't wait to hear more.
Completely new to you. Your comment on looking at your parents in a totally different light was so insightful for me. I will be sharing it with a friend with similar problems.
Thank you
ps love the unscripted nature of your thoughts too.
It has taken me many years to get to the point of seeing parents as two people first . I took this shift as a sign of my healing. To use it as an active practice is so useful.
Thank you Donna. Lovely rich content engagingly delivered. And all the better for its authenticity of format. Very helpful and timely, I have a family gathering on Sunday afternoon which I’ve been worried about and preparing myself for emotionally and spiritually. It will be very fast and very, very loud and talkative. My reminder to sit back, take a beat or ten and embrace the five year olds. Xxx
Thanks Sarah and best of luck for Sunday. Lots of trips to the loo to breathe and shake if you can/need to. Your family might think you have a drug problem but you will at least remain calm and grounded(ish). Enjoy the experience and remember death is also sitting at that table...I know you know xx
Loved this format too, felt so very connected to your words of wisdom 🌻 💫. I received a wonderful insight from your tip on seeing the line with parents , just what I needed to hear tonight, thank you 🎁 💕🤶🏼
I love this format, Donna- it's made me smile as I'm not well enough to attend this Sunday but I feel I've had a fireside chat with you just by watching these 🧡 Such valuable insights and the Freudian slip was *chefs kiss* 😅 Those recommendations would make for an interesting podcast too.... 😅😉🧡 Much love to you xxx
Hope you feel better soon my love and you will be with us in Spirit on Sunday. And perhaps I will make a podcast all about the special kind of 'self love' .... ;-) Loving you xx
I loved having you on my kitchen table, sipping my soup and listening to your wisdom. Gold and Gratitude. I was equally excited about tipping my phone on its side to make your lovely face bigger...more gratitude!
I absolutely loved the set up ...thank you for this offering - I have found recently that having some old photos of my mum and dad as children help me tap into compassion and see them as wounded children (with hope, dreams and fears as you say, just like me) before seeing them as my parents ."Not so different after all" - which I think is another wonderful quote of yours🙏🏻💗x
Aww honoured to join you for some soup Kate. And love the idea of keeping pics of parents as children close....helps deepen our compassion for sure. "if they could have, they would have..." Big Love gorgeous xx
That you tube video 💗 ...thank you for sharing .I just watched it. It is spot on for my family in so many ways... I wondering if ITV could pop that on in advert breaks on christmas day just to juice things up abit! 🤣🤔
Thank you Donna. I will come back to the main recording - in a rush for time I’ve had some bites of the comments and the share of how enlightened families argue (hilarious - thank you 😊🙏). I feel sad that I am only really understanding my own wounds that i contributed to family gatherings after I have lost people to death. And I am also so grateful for the ongoing journey of learning and healing for myself, others and my ancestors. Thank you x x x
I loved this informal set up - it felt like sitting with you which is always grounding and opens things up. Visualising parents as wounded child, adult, then parent in that order feels empowering and truthful. For me the trick is to do it without getting caught in the parentified child place where I was always mesmerised by my mum’s wounded child and trying to save her: but I can feel how different the perspective you’re talking about is, when you can hold all three in front of you in the right order (and then turn to your own life, this time with the support of coming from somewhere truthful). Thank you, Donna. Have a great Christmas ☺️ Dada xxx
Thanks dada. Loads of love to you xx
Cressida this is exactly where I’m at with my Mum. She, probably unconsciously, is always waiting & wanting me to rescue her, make things better & be on her side & it’s exhausting. I have decided I’ll just step back from that behaviour though it’s so ingrained in me, I find it very hard. I guess it’s like any change it feels hard initially & then becomes more natural & hopefully will bring a positive change from her too.
Good luck 🤞🏼
Wow that was great, thank you so much Donna.
My parents died 14 & 12 years ago and sadly I don’t feel I ever got to know them properly.
I don’t know if it was a generational thing (born mid 1940’s) but they never talked about their feelings or emotions. (Did show me through anger, frustration and humour though, confusingly…..)
It makes me sad now that I won’t get that chance… maybe on the other side…
I do need to and will apply this strategy with other family members and in-laws too. This has been such a precious and very timely reminder (it’s my father in law’s wake on Monday.)
We are all wounded souls in varying degrees and I intend to give grace, and more freely, as I have been able to give to myself, which I believe is probably the only starting place on this healing path.
Thank you again Donna. 🫶🏼🌻💛🤗x
Thanks Sally, so glad it was helpful. I found I got to know my mum on a deeper level when she died in many ways. Im learning about her very day...in how I live xx
Definitely way to go with this set up. I was multitasking to start with but had to drop everything to listen to this. It fully immersed me. All tipcs were so useful and the final one about seeing our parents as a wounded child -first, a woman and a man- second and as a parent -third, was something I never even imagined to explore. Thank you Donna! Can't wait to hear more.
so glad you found it helpful Natalia and thanks for your comments xx
Completely new to you. Your comment on looking at your parents in a totally different light was so insightful for me. I will be sharing it with a friend with similar problems.
Thank you
ps love the unscripted nature of your thoughts too.
Aah welcome Julie! Delighted you are here and so glad you found the topic helpful. Big Love xx
Thank you for your words of wisdom.
It has taken me many years to get to the point of seeing parents as two people first . I took this shift as a sign of my healing. To use it as an active practice is so useful.
you are so welcome Jo and yes an active practice to judge less and Love more. That's the work xx
Thank you for all these helpful suggestions to navigate this tricky time. 🙏🏾
thanks love xx
Thank you Donna. Lovely rich content engagingly delivered. And all the better for its authenticity of format. Very helpful and timely, I have a family gathering on Sunday afternoon which I’ve been worried about and preparing myself for emotionally and spiritually. It will be very fast and very, very loud and talkative. My reminder to sit back, take a beat or ten and embrace the five year olds. Xxx
Thanks Sarah and best of luck for Sunday. Lots of trips to the loo to breathe and shake if you can/need to. Your family might think you have a drug problem but you will at least remain calm and grounded(ish). Enjoy the experience and remember death is also sitting at that table...I know you know xx
Thank you, they’ll think my menopausal bladder has finally given up the ghost! I will also imagine my mum there winking at me xxx
Loved this format too, felt so very connected to your words of wisdom 🌻 💫. I received a wonderful insight from your tip on seeing the line with parents , just what I needed to hear tonight, thank you 🎁 💕🤶🏼
I am so glad Jen and thank you xx
I love this format, Donna- it's made me smile as I'm not well enough to attend this Sunday but I feel I've had a fireside chat with you just by watching these 🧡 Such valuable insights and the Freudian slip was *chefs kiss* 😅 Those recommendations would make for an interesting podcast too.... 😅😉🧡 Much love to you xxx
Hope you feel better soon my love and you will be with us in Spirit on Sunday. And perhaps I will make a podcast all about the special kind of 'self love' .... ;-) Loving you xx
I loved having you on my kitchen table, sipping my soup and listening to your wisdom. Gold and Gratitude. I was equally excited about tipping my phone on its side to make your lovely face bigger...more gratitude!
I absolutely loved the set up ...thank you for this offering - I have found recently that having some old photos of my mum and dad as children help me tap into compassion and see them as wounded children (with hope, dreams and fears as you say, just like me) before seeing them as my parents ."Not so different after all" - which I think is another wonderful quote of yours🙏🏻💗x
Aww honoured to join you for some soup Kate. And love the idea of keeping pics of parents as children close....helps deepen our compassion for sure. "if they could have, they would have..." Big Love gorgeous xx
I really enjoyed this in this format 👏👏👏
Yay thanks Caroline xx
That you tube video 💗 ...thank you for sharing .I just watched it. It is spot on for my family in so many ways... I wondering if ITV could pop that on in advert breaks on christmas day just to juice things up abit! 🤣🤔
hee hee xx
Thank you Donna. I will come back to the main recording - in a rush for time I’ve had some bites of the comments and the share of how enlightened families argue (hilarious - thank you 😊🙏). I feel sad that I am only really understanding my own wounds that i contributed to family gatherings after I have lost people to death. And I am also so grateful for the ongoing journey of learning and healing for myself, others and my ancestors. Thank you x x x
So much to be grateful for including our expanding awareness. Wakey wakey! Loving you xx
Thank you for taking the time to record this, Donna. It’s deeply appreciated; esp at such a busy and emotionally complex time of year. x
you are so welcome Rochelle and I appreciate your appreciation :-) xx
Great format and great nuggets of guidance to help us navigate our way through…….. Thank you and have a wonderful festive season xxx
Thanks Dawn and you too xx
I really like this “unrehearsed” format as well 👍
thanks Pauline xx