Preparing for Death

An exploration of death and dying through a Spiritual lens.

Photograph of a bare tree in winter by Johannes Plenio via Pexels

Death is a subject that many of us try to avoid like the plague. It’s a bit like the C-bomb swear word, (which I, like Olivia Coleman, love btw). Just the word death alone, when spoken out loud, can clear a room, (try it this Christmas if you want your guests to leave early!) So much of what we fear in life, when you dig a little deeper, is ultimately about the fear of death - ageing, being single, not having children, children leaving home, phobias, health issues, staying in ‘dead’ relationships….I could go on. The irony is though, that in trying to circumnavigate the D word, we can end up not being truly alive in the world at all.

“There is death, and there is ‘just not dead yet’…and neither of these is about living.”

Death is for me such a fascinating and nuanced doorway of Awakening, because there are so many different ways that we can, and indeed do, die in our life time. From death of out-dated versions of ourselves, to death of who we dreamt we would be, or what we would have, through to death of the different phases of our life, and of course the physical deaths of loved ones, along with our own imminent transition.

Death Preparation

None of us questions the importance of birth preparation – all the numerous ways, both practical and internal, that a pregnant woman must ready herself to give birth to new life. I would suggest that preparing to die is of equal importance and significance in the human journey. How we can prepare to birth ourselves and others into death and beyond…

What’s on Offer…

This 2 day offering is not about the practical or physical dimensions to death and dying, it is instead a deep exploration of these human realities, viewed through a Spiritual lens. And it really is an exploration, not a teaching or training. There will be no simple ‘how to’ answers, and no doubt more questions will emerge as we explore. What is on offer here instead is a deep and profound enquiry of what it might mean to ‘die’, and how we can learn to view death and dying as the true spiritual practice that it is.

These 2 days of exploration are just a beginning of course. An opening into a new way of being in the world. What you gain here in these two days will continue to work its magic inside of you, transforming your relationship, not only to death but to life and living.

Together we will be exploring the three frontiers which are -

1) Our Own Death – this will involve daring to face the inevitable realities of our own transition. Together we will dive deeply into the human experience of ceasing to exist in physical form and how surrendering to ageing and change is one form of ‘death practice’. We will explore what makes a ‘good death’ and how in befriending our own death, we can become juicier and more alive. Coming to understand that how we prepare for our own death and how we ultimately die, will determine how those we leave behind, will go on to live.

2) Our Loved Ones – many of us fear the death of those we love even more than our own. Even though we might understand on a Spiritual level that there are ‘no others’, on a human level, we must learn how to live without those we love when they leave. Parents, children, siblings, friends all will die…and perhaps before us. How can we best support those who are ‘leaving’? How can we prepare to let go of those we love, especially when they might leave suddenly, or what feels like ‘too soon’? How might we show up for loved ones who are dying, without losing ourselves within the ‘field of death’? What does it take to fully grieve our deceased loved ones, whilst allowing us to carry them forward inside of us, in how we choose to live and Love?

3) Spiritual Death – if we are lucky to be here long enough, we will all die numerous times in our lifetime. Our inner work is to discover the many gifts (no matter how painful), wrapped up within each of these ‘spiritual deaths’. From divorce and separation, miscarriages and terminations, missed motherhood, career endings, empty nest, ageing and illness….these are just a few of the ways we will die into life…or just get closer to death. Here we can learn how to shed and honour our ‘old selves’ with dignity and grace, learning how to ‘let be’ and ‘let go’. Coming to view death, dying and grief as portals that when crawled through, can lead us back to a deeper connection to the Divine/Universe/God than we ever believed possible. Ultimately coming to see that every spiritual death when fully experienced and grieved, allows us to simply become more alive.

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The Loved Ones

The loved ones we call the dead
depart from us and for a while
are absent. And then as if
called back by our love, they come
near us again. They enter our dreams.
We feel they have been near us
when we have not thought of them.
They are simply here, simply waiting
while we are distracted among
our obligations. At last
it comes to us: They live now
in the permanent world.
We are the absent ones.

Wendell Berry

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Bambi - legged Courage

This 2 day exploration of death is of course not an experience for the faint of heart. It is however for the vulnerable, afraid, curious, tender, heart based, hopeful and Soul seekers amongst us. Those of you with Bambi-legged courage, willing to wobble your way forward, and bumble and stumble towards discovering a new way of being in the world and beyond. It is ultimately for those ready not just to exist, but to truly live….

If this sounds like you, you know what to do - hello@donnalancaster.com

Respecting my Elders

Preparing for Death - The Details

Friday 27^th & Saturday 28^th February 2026

9.30am – 4.30pm both days

West Sussex

Facilitated by your favourite Elder in training…

Early bird price (if paid in full by Jan 16^th) = £350

Standard price (or even if you simply wish to pay early and give a little more) = £395

This information will go live on my website next week: Donna Lancaster

Previous offerings about the D word….

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Gratitude

Thank you as always for being here and for reading my words. This offering is free to all subscribers so please share it far and wide. #spreadthelove