Dying to Talk about Death
The importance of initiating conversations about death
Yes, it’s really true, I’m back writing about death again! I just can’t help myself, because it’s such a rich, multi layered and important subject. Although, let me reassure you this piece is quite different to the last one on death so don’t worry, I’m not short changing you! If you missed it, you can read that newsletter here: The Life Giving Power of Death
As some of you might know, I recently began a foundational training about becoming an End of life doula or ‘death doula’ as they were previously known. However, I do not wish to become a doula, but instead wanted to do this training as part of the preparation for my own death, including how to support my loved ones in dealing with my inevitable loss.
Now this might seem a little macabre and odd to some of you, ’she should really get out more’, but for me it feels like a natural part of my training to become an Elder. Because true Elders live their lives with the full knowledge that death is close, and always has been. That at any given time it might all be over, so we must pay full attention to every precious moment, and give thanks for the gift of it (even the shit bits). That’s what makes us Elders so joyous and alive you see. It is also one of the most important aspects of our role as Elders, to prepare those around us for our leaving. To help support them to navigate the loss of loved ones, and how to work with the medicine of grief.
I recently initiated a conversation about death with my eldest grandson, Louis, aged 8. We spoke about me getting older and how when it was my time, I would die. I explored with him his feelings about this and used some of the questions I’ve shared below. I asked Louis where he thought I would go when I died and he said ‘Maybe back to the trees Nanny, as you love them so much’. Oh I do hope he’s right.