Be More Stardust

Spreading more light in a farty vibed world

Hello and a very Happy New Year to you.

Welcome to the very first edition of A Pilgrimage for the Soul. I’m so very glad that you’re here. 

My name is Donna and I am a writer, coach, therapist and group facilitator with over 30 years’ experience. I also describe myself as an ‘Elder in training’ because I am leaning towards that stage of my life as a 56 year old woman who has worked hard to transform her wounds into wisdom. (More on that later).

I thought it would be nice to kickstart by introducing myself here, especially for those of you not so familiar with me and my work. Often when introducing ourselves, we tend to only share the ‘good’ stuff of how we like to be perceived, and leave out the less savoury (shadowy) aspects of our personality. So instead, I’d like to share with you a bit of both, as I’m a great believer in embracing all that we are and have ever been. 

So in taking a look at my ‘shop front’ (a.k.a. the shiny stuff on display), I could be described as funny, intelligent, wise, caring, introverted and open hearted. My interests include reading, films, podcasts, exercise, coffee, walking, writing, talking to trees and non-religious prayer. I view nature as my church because it’s where I go to worship Life. I love the colour orange and my favourite flower is the sunflower.

I invite you now to walk with me behind my shop front and down some grubby stairs into my ‘dark basement’, (a.k.a. the shadowy, darker aspects of my personality). Down here you will discover that I also have patterns of being controlling, judgemental and critical. I can be a right old ‘moaning minnie’ and a terrible gossip. I have been known to eat my feelings and used to love a cheeky line back in the day. I love solitude but can easily slip into isolation if I’m not careful. At times I will also say highly offensive things without intending to offend. As I get older I find that my heart opens wider, yet my filter and tolerance for nonsense gets narrower. Oops. Out tumbles clumsy, messy truth…..

Okay, that’s a bit about me. I wonder if you dare to leave a comment below and introduce yourself too, sharing both a little of your light and of your shadow? It would be great if we start as we mean to go on along this pilgrimage trail, connecting here without a need for masks or only sharing our shiny parts. Instead how about we dare to show up in our fullness? Perfectly imperfect in our fabulousness. 

What to expect from A Pilgrimage for the Soul

My intention for this newsletter is to provide a twice monthly offering directly into your inbox, that explores Elder wisdom, Spirituality, Healing and Awakening. As well as writing about different elements of these four core topics, I plan to offer you videos and audios, alongside simple rituals, practices and book/film and podcast recommendations, that will support you in remembering the truth of who you are. 

There will also be an opportunity to connect with other like hearted Souls and share our wisdom with each other. Asking and answering questions that matter to those of us in, or entering ‘Phase two’ of life. I like to imagine us all pausing on our pilgrimage walk to take a break, and sit around a warm fire together whilst we giggle and connect. 

I am viewing this whole space and offering as a new adventure that we will embark upon together. A bit like me, and life itself, it will be imperfect, and I hope to fine tune as we go along. I welcome your feedback and requests as part of this process.

For now though, here’s my first imperfect offering and thank you for joining me as we all walk back to meet ourselves. 

In Love and Service,

Donna - Elder in Training xxx

“…if you travel far enough, one day you will recognise yourself coming down to meet yourself. And you will say – YES.” — Marion Woodman

Be More Stardust

Have you ever noticed how when some people walk into a room, everyone notices their arrival, but not in a good way? Upon their arrival there’s an immediate shift of the mood and energy, and this person doesn’t even have to say or do much. Just their very presence is unpleasant to be around. Heavy, negative vibes emanate from them. I affectionately call them the ‘Negative Nellies’, and I’m not being mean here, because I have been one myself in a past life, so I have a genuine fondness for them. But if Midas turned everything to gold with his touch, then these people can turn everything to 💩 with a word or a look.

Now let’s be clear here I’m not talking about people who are genuinely struggling with their mental health or deep in grief. I’m referring to those sleepy people who simply create a bad vibe because of their deeply ingrained ‘half empty’ approach to Life. They are like a kind of silent but deadly fart, creating a terrible stench wherever they go. And that stench seems to permeate the whole room, even lingering on, long after they have left, so that you need to open the window and let some fresh air back in. In some extreme cases even needing to wash your clothes, take a shower afterwards and burn a bit of sage to cleanse the space. 

Let’s face it none of us want to carry farty vibes.

Then there’s the other kind of person. The kind whose arrival in a room is also noticed, but this time because they walk into a space like a warm breeze. Their very presence lights up the room and their positive energy is highly contagious. Others feel elevated around them, and like there’s more hope, beauty and possibility in the world somehow. If I’m being really honest, I’d say this kind of person’s presence feels like Love. The kind with a capital L. People gravitate towards these ‘Love dealers’, and when they leave everyone reluctantly watches them go, but feels warmed and lighter from having shared space with them. I like to call these people ‘Stardust Sallies’ because it’s like they spread and leave a little sprinkling of stardust behind wherever they go. Given that we come from stardust, it totally makes sense. 

It’s a kind of magic. 💫✨⭐️

Now of course we can all be a bit of a negative nelly at times but I believe we can also cultivate and practice becoming more of a Stardust Sally. For example lately when I connect with other people, regardless of whether they are known to me or not, I try to take a moment to breathe into my heart, and then allow myself to listen and see this person through the ears and eyes of my heart. Less judgements, more connection. 

Sometimes when travelling on the London Underground, I will intentionally send Love to all the so called strangers looking down at their screens. And guess what? Often some will look up! Not because I’m giving them a creepy stare but because they can feel something and that something is Love landing in their heart. (Try it if you don’t believe me.)

That’s Stardust Sally vibes right there. 

I have a neighbour in my apartment block who has motor neurones disease. We used to pass each other on our way to the gym in the morning and then within a few short months he could no longer walk. He’s now in a wheelchair and rarely gets outside. So instead I have been sprinkling him with Stardust Sally vibes whenever I visit. Not by pretending to be anything other than who I am, but by allowing Love to lead me in our time together. We laugh and share stories of our past adventures and I notice his eyes and energy become more alive during these visits. When I head back to my flat, I like to think that I leave behind a massive sprinkling of stardust to help my neighbour remember his own. 

So there it is. We can all be more fart, or we can all be more stardust. 

I’ll let you decide.

#bemorestardust

Word of the Month

Each month I will be offering you a word to focus on as you go about your everyday lives. I encourage you to write this word down on a post it note, or in your journal, make it your screensaver or even write it on your wrist! Whatever it takes to help you remember this word and how to weave it’s magic into your day to day life and interactions.

So this month’s word is VULNERABILITY – so moment by moment ask yourself how might I show more vulnerability in this situation/with this person? How can I allow my words, actions or choices to be expressed with more vulnerability?  What might my vulnerability want to really say or do in this situation?

I look forward to hearing how you get on.

“If it’s true that words are spells, what magic will you weave?”

A Dance Challenge

Most people remove something from their life in January like alcohol, sugar or social media, as they like to have a bit of a detox after the excesses of the festive period. I however like to add something in, rather than take something away. So every day of January I will be dancing. Whether that’s in the morning waiting for the kettle to boil, a little shimmy whilst cooking in the kitchen, or a five minute wiggle in between my desk based admin activities (Zzz). Yes, my challenge is to dance to at least one track every day for the whole of January. Fancy joining me? If you miss a day, that’s ok you just dance for 2 tracks the next day. I’ve done this challenge before and it’s really great, not only because it’s fun and playful but also because movement really is life! Enjoy.

A New Year Ritual - out with the old and in with the new

As some of you might know I LOVE a ritual, so every month I will be offering you a different ritual to enjoy. Rituals are such a beautiful way of making the everyday feel more sacred. Taking something that might be habitual and adding intention to it creates simple rituals to mark moments of meaning and transition.

Given that most of you will be reading this in early January, I would like to offer you this ritual to enjoy by yourself or with family and friends around a fire, as part of saying farewell to 2023 and welcoming in the New Year. 

1) Gratitude - Sit together in a circle and close your eyes. Allow time in silence to reflect upon the last years highlights and challenges, including what they have brought you. What gifts can you now recognise these experiences offered you (even the painful ones)? Write them down. Each person in the group takes it in turns to share briefly about any major challenges of the year and the lessons/gifts within them. Say thank you for each of them. Then each person shares their favourite highlights, savouring together the best moments of 2023. Say thank you for each of them. 

2) Regrets and forgiveness - Once again all together close your eyes and allow time in silence to reflect upon your last years ‘mistakes’ or regrets. Things you did or didn’t do, said or didn’t say, that perhaps you feel sorry or sad about. These can be big or small. If these regrets involve people you have hurt, write the names of the people down too. Each person takes it in turn to read these out loud to your group. Eg. 'I know I hurt you mum when I didn't see you on your birthday and I'm really sorry for that' Also sharing with each other what you need to forgive others and/or yourself for. Eg.'I need to forgive myself for not being there for my Nan before she died.' 

3) Out with the Old - Write down what you want to leave behind as the year turns. Eg. Being unkind to myself, gossip, over thinking, busyness etc. Then take turns to speak these out loud with the words 'I am choosing to let go of...' Once each person has spoken, throw all of your papers into a fire and together watch them burn. If you're feeling really wild you could even sing together too! I’m not talking Kumbaya (unless that’s your vibe), but whatever tune tickles your fancy. Have a sing song and a giggle. Enjoy. If not, play a special piece of music as you watch the flames burn away and transform the old. 

4) In with the new - On pebbles/special cards/notes each write what qualities in yourself that you are reclaiming or taking with you into the new year (For eg. Trust, hope, playfulness etc). Share with the group and place in a jar or bowl/box to take with you. 

5) Appreciations - Each person then says what they appreciate about themselves, other people (present or absent, alive or passed), and in the world. Give thanks for each. Then take it in turns to appreciate each other in the group, one person at a time. Eg. All focusing on one person in your group, everyone offers you an appreciation...something they love or like about you. (Bum clench I know but let the love in!). Then move onto the next person until everyone has received appreciations. You can also write them down for everyone to take away as a lovely reminder of how loved they are. 

6) Celebrate - Complete the ritual with a dance, bit of karaoke or shaking off the negative past and welcoming in the new year ahead. Each person can take it in turns to choose a favourite track they love to dance to. It’s also lovely to play music for your loved ones who have passed away to involve them in the celebrations.

2024 we are ready for you. Bring it on!

"Rituals bring meaning and beauty into the simple and sometimes unnoticed aspects of life. If honoured, rituals allow your soul to speak." 

Words of Inspiration

I am a big fan of non-religious prayer which has been a gamechanger for me (more on this to come), so I intend to offer a little prayer, poem or short piece each time, for us to enjoy along the trail. Here’s our first one:

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”

Meister Eckhart

And finally - speaking of thank yous…a special shout out to the fabulous Emma Gannon of The Hyphen who has been such a source of inspiration and support as I embark on this new adventure. If you haven’t checked out her Substack yet, I highly recommend it. I was lucky enough to write a guest article on The Hyphen, about what I call ‘The Menoportal’, viewing the menopause as one of life’s major portals, which you can check out via Emma’s recent archives.

Thank you so much for reading A Pilgrimage for the Soul. If you have enjoyed this first edition, please feel free to share and help spread the word far and wide.

I am currently offering 20% off until 8th January 2024, for all those who subscribe for the annual plan. This works out at about £1 a week which I’m guessing works out at a cost of less than 2 mince pies a week or 3 sips of a decent coffee.

See you soon back on the trail for more Soul adventures. Meanwhile stay wonderful

All Love, Donna xx

@donnalancs #apilgrimageforthesoul

www.deepeningintolife.com