The very first time I ever felt lonely was inside my mother’s womb. I have a very clear sense of not being welcome in there. My dear mum already had 3 children (including my dad), and was a wounded child herself, so it was a big ask for her to welcome and raise another baby. No doubt I also absorbed the stress chemicals flooding from her body to mine, and could hear the muffled aggressive shouts of my father, which would become the soundtrack to my childhood. Being of a sensitive persuasion even then, I felt it all. A less than safe or welcoming place to grow into (a human) being, even though my mum, as always, did her best.
I also had this clear sense of ‘I shouldn’t be here’, whilst encased in that tiny dark universe. No wonder I kicked her belly a lot (sorry mum), I was probably trying to figure out how to escape such a restricted and limiting space in order to get back home. These intense feelings of needing to escape, might relate to me being what is known in spiritual terms as a ‘reluctant incarnate’, which essentially means a spirit taking on human form, reluctantly.
Let me explain….